HONEYMOON JOY
Thursday, September 15th, 2011
Do men love their second wife as much as he loved the first?
My husband was married to his first wife for nearly 16 years.
This is the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He proposed to her, planned a wedding with her, had the big Church wedding, honeymoon, etc.
They had two children, went through all the pregnancy joy, childbirth, raising babies, etc. with her.
They traveled the world together. Her family is wealthy, so he got to live in splendor with her.
So many things and life’s joys and experiences that he had with her, that I will never have, or be able to give or experience with him.
They are now divorced, obviously, and hate each other.
But I can’t help but wonder, will part of him always love her? Will she always be more special to him than I am?
You can’t erase all of his memories with her… but I think she did a good enough job of that.
If you spend your time worrying instead of spoiling him, you will just be another useless wife.
Imagine that your husband has two bank accounts. His first wife has access to the first account and you have access to the second account.
For 16 years his first wife made deposits and withdraws… in other words she gave him good times and bad times…
Some years into the marriage it became apparent to you husband that his first wife was withdrawing more than she deposited. Her account was SEVERELY overdrawn nearly all the time.
You come along and open a new account. You don’t initially have a lot of deposits. You just haven’t had the time. BUT, you are still way ahead of his ex wife because she is so overdrawn.
The key is for you to make as many deposits as you can without making withdraws.
Figure out what his needs are and do that. Figure out what frustrates, hurts, and lessens his happiness and avoid those.
If you continually deposit, your man will never feel as though he needs anyone else to keep his relationship account full. His ex wife will always be overdrawn and you will always have more in your account.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that what you want, your man wants. You two are different.
For instance… if you offer sensual sex.. that is filling your account and is probably neither a deposit or withdraw for your man. So don’t think that you just made a deposit. To make a deposit with sex, you would have to do what he likes… at least enough for him to feel as though it met HIS needs. He should do the same for you… take turns filling each others bank.
Here are some good ways most men get deposits.
Wild sex.
Sex often.
Keep the house up.
Be half of the responsibilities.
Don’t take too much.
Show respect.
Show admiration(compliments)
Be kind.
Be generous.
Here are some withdraws.
Infrequent sex (probably the biggest withdraw)
disrespect, nagging, demanding more…
Putting friends and family above him.
Also… avoid his deal breakers.
Of course infidelity is one of those…
but each person has their own. I can not live in a cluttered, dirty house. I can’t live with a woman that thinks soap operas are less than stupidity. General stupidity. Incapable people…
These are my deal breakers… his will be completely different.
Find out what they are and don’t do them!
All of this advice goes for your husband as well. The details will change but the idea is the same.
Chris & Joy Honeymoon – Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
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