HONEYMOON LOVE STORIES
Given this list of musicals, can you include them in an amusing story, just for the fun of being creative?
Include as many as you can….and have fun!
1. 110 in the Shade
2. Mamma Mia!,
3. Bye Bye Birdie
4. Lust ‘n Rust
5. A Chinese Honeymoon
6. I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change
7. O Say Can You See!
8. The Roar of the Greasepaint—the Smell of the Crowd
9. Return to the Forbidden Planet
10. Two Gentlemen of Verona
11. Victor/Victoria
12. Yes Nurse! No Nurse!
RANDOM PHILOSOPHIES
Many random situations arise throughout our lives. The decisions that we make in ways to handle them are often based upon our personal philosophy, and as such are purely subjective. That is to say, those decisions are modified by individual bias. Sometimes similar situations are also altered by location and its place in time.
The way an individual thinks about heat can be subjective. For instance, 110 IN THE SHADE on a hot summer’s day in Arizona is very hot indeed; whereas, 110 in an oven when you are planning to bake chocolate chip cookies, not so much!
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Alka Seltzer ran some very effective television ads “a few years ago.” One showed an Italian guy, with an upset stomach, sitting at a table eating spaghetti and meatballs, saying, “MAMA MIA! THAT’S A SOME SPICY MEATBALL!” Another ad featured a guy named Ralph saying, “I can’t believe I ate that whole thing.”
The solution to both these problems: Two Alka-Seltzer tablets dropping into a glass of water!! Was it a wise decision by Alka Seltzer executives to drop these ads, with which the customer could readily identify, to take them in another direction? Can we remember ANY of the Alka Seltzer ads in recent years? Not so much!
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“O SAY CAN YOU SEE the birds flying high in the sky?” a nurse in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, might ask one of her patients. “YES! NURSE!” would most likely be the reply because “ON A CLEAR DAY, YOU CAN SEE FOREVER.” However, in an industrialized city, such as San Francisco, which is usually enveloped in smog, the reply would probably be, “NO! NURSE! Not so much!” …. “BYE BYE BIRDIE!”
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Imagine the complications faced by the TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA when they both fell in love with VICTOR/VICTORIA!! If you ask me, it’s hard to see, “Is he a she?” …. “Is she a he?” …. “Which can he/she be?“
Gentleman A was gay, so he said to Victor/Victoria, “I LOVE YOU, YOU’RE PERFECT, NOW CHANGE and let me see if you are a he or a she. Gentleman B was straight, so he said to Victor/Victoria, “I LOVE YOU, YOU’RE PERFECT, NOW CHANGE and let me see if you are a she or a he.” Was Victor/Victoria ready to reveal his/her secret? No! Not so much!
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Some of the funniest jokes derive their humor from real-life situations that others would find hilarious, but to the participants in the story, not so much!!
“A CHINESE HONEYMOON” is just such a joke. A Chinese couple gets married — and she’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is not too experienced either.
On the wedding night, she cowers under the sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring.
“My darring,” he says. “I know dis yo firss time and you berry frighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting – juss anyting you want. Watchou want?” he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride. A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request.
She eventually replies shyly and unsure, “I want to try somethin I have heard about….. Numbaa 69.”
More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries…… “you want……Beef wiff Broccori?”
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Now it is time for me to say my goodbyes, because I must hop aboard my silver spaceship and RETURN TO THE FORBIDDEN PLANET, D’Illyria, to join my husband, the mad scientist, Doctor Prospero.
“Where is that?” you might ask. Let me just say, “It’s in a galaxy far, far away.”
Marth and Ganondorf Love Story: The Honeymoon Part 1
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